14. She of God

Allowing my desires to be righteous.

Blog Overview: Desires / Talking Story with God / Abundance

I will never again lay a dogmatic framework of morality against myself.

Whether or not my vision exists on this plane or elsewhere, I share it with you in a stance of righteous claiming. Yes, my unabashed wants are giving to the self. Less I justify the abundance within, then I deny it outwardly. My giving becomes false when, in fact, the “gift” is one of unconscious manipulation for reciprocity. So rather than deny my truest longings, I claim them here as a testament of my rightful place in God’s overfull cup. And from that position of abundance, I give. Not so much an order of operation, but in a sincere allowing to taste the ways of the wealthy, knowing that my giving nature is always, always, always present. And that, first and foremost, the wealth that I crave the most is that which begins in the heart.

Imagine this with me:

I wear subtle golden chains over my bronze chest and bathe in crystalline waters while my man adores me in his sultry seeing. The clawfoot tub, designed to honor the Hawaiian hawk, is my artistic preference, but I give full credit to my honey for the built-in ergonomic vibrations, which help me relax after a productive day of refining my novel’s characters and turning up the heat in the climax. I let the hot bath and my even hotter partner bring me back from Laukala Valley, where my protagonist turns his weakness into dragon medicine.

“I’m proud to call you mine,” he tells me, finding the perfect words to melt me into the moment even more. No more talk is needed. His breath is fully with mine.

The rose petals floating around my supple body remind me of our recent travels to Greece, where Aphrodite came alive through her marble form and reminded me of my temple’s vastness. The Goddess invited me to her sanctuary, where doves carried olive branches and grapes were delivered by silk laden muscles.

She told me to wear white when I shop and tattoo a lizard around my neck. I’m to bedazzle my artwork with precious metals and skate more often down the coast, sending prayers to the humpbacks’ grueling winter passage. Most importantly, she’d like me to pay tribute to her mentorship with a rose quartz sculpture of the Goddess of Love, Fertility, and Beauty in the eastern corner of our adult playground, where my man witnesses my full-spectrum humanity with the kind of devotion that turns me into a tigress, equally able to purr and pounce.

I have another playground, a more kid-friendly one: my art studio. It is quite frankly the coolest place in the world. I have every imaginable tint of paint, which you can see on the white tile floor. Paint splatter is my vibe. Too clean and I’ll go crazy. And still, my workshop is precise in its organization. From floor to ceiling, there are labeled drawers filled with arts and crafts supplies with one of those sliding ladders to get to the highest shelf. There’s a 20’ long table with benches so I can host art classes and high ceilings with a lot of natural light. The table saws and screwdrivers are in the wood-shop outside. Inside, I value elegance and beauty.

Art is my therapy. It’s one of the most direct accesses to God that I’ve found, other than through my man’s eyes and the ocean’s infinite intelligence. Whether I express with a paintbrush, a pen, a piano, or playing with my body on the dance floor, it matters not. I’m happiest when fully-expressed, and having a reliable art studio makes all the difference.

These days, my sore muscles find relief with a weekly deep tissue massage, which is a bit more pleasurable than getting myofascial release therapy to finally let go of the trauma I’ve endured from 4 ACL knee surgeries. I still kiss both knees regularly. If I didn’t have to re-learn how to walk four different times after each surgery, then I wouldn’t have as much appreciation for my body’s ability to dance as hard as I do these days.

And let me tell you what, I dance hard! The dances just keep getting better and better. I’ve started to host private events with my favorite movers, guided by the smoothest DJs. I dress my hot ass to the nines and drink the most sacred cup of cacao, which helps me drop into my ever-expanding heart all the more. My body unleashes in ecstasy with utter faith in the movement ritual, knowing that my sensuality is the Omega radiance this world needs. We adhere to even stricter norms to ensure a tighter container so that all movements have a safe space to express. The field is hyper-sensitive. We meet one another with familiarity and deep curiosity, recognizing the awoken alchemist in one another.

Some of these movers are my teachers, to whom I go for their unique medicines. From masterful musicians to powerful permaculturalist, I humble myself in the midst of their life’s devotion to their tricks and trades. After all, I’m a student by nature. I love learning and gravitate to masters who walk the talk. My favorite studies of late are sacred geometric patterns/equations adhered to by indigenous tribes all around the world; whale language systems; and the coconut’s many uses in cooking.

A few of the regulars at these private dance gatherings are even my partners in a massive community project to bring free structured water to the people. By 2024, we will have amassed sufficient funds, the technology, the builders, and county land to create four structured water systems on each side of Kaua’i. All of Kaua’i will have access to *clean*structured*high-frequency*mineralized*crystalline drinking water. By 2025, all restaurants, grocery stores, mini-markets, etc. will be required to use this water. No plastic water bottles will be sold on Kaua’i. By 2030, all the Hawaiian Islands will have these systems in place, if they believe it to be beneficial to their communities.

On a daily basis, I ride my electric bike to Donkeys beach to bodyboard during sunrise. Then, I rinse the salt off my body in the cold river waters, where I write my morning pages, meditate, and breathe into greater self-awareness. By 10am, my belly is full of nutrition and I’m seated at my writing altar paying tribute to the muse with a sandalwood incense before I put in several hours into my novel. Hot chai is my preference, wind chimes outside my screened window, and the shaman thrush to remind me to sing from time to time.

I wear a lot of flowy, feminine clothes but my closet has a vast array of personalities, from surfer-girl casual to ball gown glory. I’m a one of a kind ar-teest who likes to wear her feelings. My crystals are my friends, and I keep them close. Moonstone earrings and labradorite on my index. I still go barefoot most of the time, because why take life so seriously. I have nothing to prove, but I just feel more mysterious when I wear contradictions. Barefoot through a parking lot wearing a silk dress adorned with sapphire eating ulu fries with siracha mayo.

More than anything, I am constantly learning to love life more and more. Each day, I wake with gratitude for the upcoming miracles. I’ve designed my life with God and am willing to accept it fully.

I am girl with Vision. These are just a few.

On this New Moon, I encourage you all to consider a 5 to 20 minute writing exercise where you design the perfect day in life.

What would you hear, see, taste? Who would you spend your time with? What does the YOU in all your glory like to do the most? Are you passionate about working on any purpose projects?

No restrictions, no judgment. Just allow yourself to go there. Written word is more powerful as an exercise, but if you only have space to visualize or share with a friend, that's better than nothing. Use this new cycle to get clear on your DESIRES. And trust that God wants you to have the life of your dreams. Don't let your subconscious rob you of the life you want!

Love,

Riddle

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